never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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