Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
