well you can't waste a boner
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
