Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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