Ambien. No doubt about it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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