He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
