she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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