And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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