Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
