I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
