I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
