I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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