She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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