so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
