So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize