can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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