Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
