So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
