i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
