but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize