i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
