a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dick very happy bro
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
