Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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