I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
