my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize