You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
