in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
