Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
