That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
