just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize