i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
