This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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