I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
vagina is talking i cant
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
