Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
