Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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