Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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