What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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