And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
