Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize