how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
