The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
