Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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