Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
