this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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