Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
