is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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