Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
