god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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