remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i believe in u and ur pee
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
