I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Still dying that you shit outside
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
