the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
