I heard we made out
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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