That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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