i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
