Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
