Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
