Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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