WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
