He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
