Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize