So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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