Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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