So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
