Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
