life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
