her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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