I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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